Christmas season has begun! Christmas Spirit … Decorations … Commercialism… and… Santa questions. I was waiting for the day when my daughter, who is now 8, would ask if “Santa is real?” One of her best friends informed my daughter it’s the parents, not Santa, who brings the presents for Christmas.
So, my daughter, with her searching brown eyes, asked me straight on, “Mom, is Santa real?”
I responded, after taking a deep, searching breath…”What do you want to believe?”
That’s all that she needed to hear. She needed to hear that I was giving her permission to develop her beliefs and let them evolve.
With a smile on her face, she described that Santa is real because Saint Nicholas is real. “He must work with the parents to bring the presents,” she explained. Santa, in the spirit of Christmas and Jesus, helps children feel loved and special. She still hasn’t quite figured out the logistics about the chimney yet, especially since ours in under construction. That will be for another year :-)
What do you want to believe?
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
P.S. One of my favorite Christmas movies is “Elf”
Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D.
Psychologist, Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
dr.bev@sbcglobal.net
Monday, December 3, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Tips for Teaching to Share
Teaching Children to Share
Have you ever noticed the look on the face of a 3 year old when told to "share a toy" or "give Jimmy a turn"? I don't think a look of gratitude or understanding is what comes to mind. I think most young children equate sharing with "me having nothing" and the other child having "everything".
I noticed that if I requested that my kids "traded" toys, instead of "sharing" a toy, I got much better cooperation. This way, both kids had something.
My question to my childen as they are gearing up to grab that coveted car or toy is, "What's your trade?". At times, I may have had to referee, "find a better trade", as my older child was trying to sneak in a "loser" trade. For the most part, however, the idea makes sense to children and is received easily.
Another tip is to offer "taking turns" and then set a timer or number of tries as the trade off point. Remember that 10 minutes or 10 tries is an ETERNITY to a 3 year old. Keep the time and turns within a limit that would make sense for a young child - 5 minutes or 3 turns for example.
Before you know it, you will hear your children becoming master negotiators and sharers of all things.
Anyone else have any tips or thoughts on sharing?
Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D.
Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Have you ever noticed the look on the face of a 3 year old when told to "share a toy" or "give Jimmy a turn"? I don't think a look of gratitude or understanding is what comes to mind. I think most young children equate sharing with "me having nothing" and the other child having "everything".
I noticed that if I requested that my kids "traded" toys, instead of "sharing" a toy, I got much better cooperation. This way, both kids had something.
My question to my childen as they are gearing up to grab that coveted car or toy is, "What's your trade?". At times, I may have had to referee, "find a better trade", as my older child was trying to sneak in a "loser" trade. For the most part, however, the idea makes sense to children and is received easily.
Another tip is to offer "taking turns" and then set a timer or number of tries as the trade off point. Remember that 10 minutes or 10 tries is an ETERNITY to a 3 year old. Keep the time and turns within a limit that would make sense for a young child - 5 minutes or 3 turns for example.
Before you know it, you will hear your children becoming master negotiators and sharers of all things.
Anyone else have any tips or thoughts on sharing?
Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D.
Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Ineffective Instructions 7 - Distant Instructions
This is the last of seven instruction blunders to avoid.
Distant Instructions: instructions that are yelled from another room or from a distance. Because the parent cannot see the child, the parent will be unaware if the child heard the instruction or was involved in something else important to the child. Additionally, it is hard to keep a respectful tone when yelling from across the house.
For example:
From downstairs Mom yells, “Mary, get off the phone and do your homework.” Meanwhile, Mary is on the phone reviewing the assignment with a friend.
From across the house Dad yells, “Turn off the light and go to bed.” Johnny wonders why Dad doesn’t say “goodnight” anymore and feels distant.
Mom yells across the crowded park that it is time to go and becomes frustrated because her kids “never listen”.
*********************************************************************
Communication is a 2-way street. The person giving the information must be aware if the instruction has been received. The most effective communication involves eye contact, a respectful tone, and recognition from the recipient that the message has been understood.
In all the examples, the person who starts the communication should make an effort to have eye contact with the person or be in close enough range to use a normal voice volume. Yes, this requires people getting up and moving, walking, etc. or making a request for the other person to come closer. The effort will be rewarded in a payoff of better communication and relationships.
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Dr.Bev@sbcglobal.net
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Distant Instructions: instructions that are yelled from another room or from a distance. Because the parent cannot see the child, the parent will be unaware if the child heard the instruction or was involved in something else important to the child. Additionally, it is hard to keep a respectful tone when yelling from across the house.
For example:
From downstairs Mom yells, “Mary, get off the phone and do your homework.” Meanwhile, Mary is on the phone reviewing the assignment with a friend.
From across the house Dad yells, “Turn off the light and go to bed.” Johnny wonders why Dad doesn’t say “goodnight” anymore and feels distant.
Mom yells across the crowded park that it is time to go and becomes frustrated because her kids “never listen”.
*********************************************************************
Communication is a 2-way street. The person giving the information must be aware if the instruction has been received. The most effective communication involves eye contact, a respectful tone, and recognition from the recipient that the message has been understood.
In all the examples, the person who starts the communication should make an effort to have eye contact with the person or be in close enough range to use a normal voice volume. Yes, this requires people getting up and moving, walking, etc. or making a request for the other person to come closer. The effort will be rewarded in a payoff of better communication and relationships.
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Dr.Bev@sbcglobal.net
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
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