Back to School Preparation

Q: How should parents help prepare their kids for the change in schedule, and getting back to the structure of a school day and homework?

In preparing for back to school, there are so many things to consider – school supplies, new clothes, will I like my teacher? – just to name a few. One of the most important variables, however, is sleep. During the summer, many families fall into a different routine of “sleep hygiene” – staying up late and sleeping in – and consequently reset their “body clocks” or circadian rhythm. Returning to a school sleep-wake cycle can take up to two weeks.

If a child is staying up late and needs to “reset his body clock”, slowly move back his bedtime by 15-minute increments so that the week before school starts the body clock has been reset to the "regular" bedtime. Not only working on bedtime, but working on the waking side of the cycle is important as well. By having an activity scheduled in the morning, not just sitting around to watch TV or play electronics, a child is more like to wake up and get going.

Some children may resist going to bed earlier when it is “still summer”. For younger children, explaining that our bodies need to “recharge their batteries” like an electronic game (Nintendo DS, PSP, Gameboy, etc) can help. It can also be helpful to explain that our bodies grow and repair itself the most while we are asleep.

After all the work you have done to reset your child’s sleep-wake cycle before school starts, make sure not to sabotage your efforts by having that “before school blowout” or “all night overnight”.

Another variable to address for back to school is anxiety about returning to school. To address nervousness or anxiety, give information for your child to help her feel more safe and in control. First, discuss with your child that it is normal to feel some anxiety about starting school and that everyone, including the teacher and principal, is nervous the first day of school. Although counter-intuitive, you may try to predict for your child some things that may go wrong the first day –going to the wrong classroom, not knowing which line to stand in for lunch, forgetting a pencil. Help your child problem solve about these predictions so that she feels more prepared and believes she can handle these problems.

An especially anxious child may benefit from a trip to the school before school starts so that things and surroundings are more familiar. Some schools have an “Open House” before school starts. If your school does, definitely attend. If your school doesn’t have an Open House before school starts, ask the principal for a school tour for your child if he tends to be “slow to warm up”. Most schools have a staff work week the week before school starts and an understanding principal will want a child to feel comfortable the first day of school.

Another way to help with before-school anxiety is to have the child as involved in the school preparation as possible. The child should help pick out school supplies, clothes, lunch, etc. Be sure that all things are packed (by the child or as “team work” so the child knows where everything is), picked out, and ready to go the night before school starts (including the camera for first day pictures). Surprises in the morning can raise adrenaline levels and create undue anxiety.

For homework, the best recommendation is to start the homework routine the first day of school, even if “real” homework is not given. This could be just sitting down and going through the backpack and organizing the first day of information. Have a set place and time for homework, with limited distractions. A homework “caddy” that has all the supplies needed – paper, scissors, pens, pencils, etc.- can be very helpful. The caddy minimizes the need to get up, move around, and be distracted during homework time.

Now that the summer is over, school supplies and clothes are bought, homework time is set, have a good night sleep and enjoy the new school year!

Dr. Beverly Walsh, Ph.D.
Psychologist, Life and Family Coach

Talking about “Real Beauty”

I recently went to a conference on eating disorders and came away with a new energy and passion to talk about real beauty. The beauty that is unique to each person and comes from within, not just the beauty that media promotes.

Dove’s Real Beauty Campaign has produced some powerful videos to help us all be mindful of our “True Colors”. Please take a moment to look at 2 of my favorites.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gm1uNgHw6Xo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkaPs8CIipw


When talking about food, notice if you designate foods as “good” or “bad”. Do you say “you’ve been bad” if you eat something sweet?

When talking about yourself, do you ever say “I feel fat”? Even though fat is not a feeling.

Our kids are watching and listening.

When talking about food, I like to think “food is fuel”. Like with a car, if I’m going on a long trip, I’m going to need a lot of fuel (think basketball games, soccer, learning all day in school). If I’m going on a short trip (sitting around playing video games), I don’t need as much fuel.

Talk with kids about “healthy serving sizes” and “1 serving foods” (pizza, ice cream) and “2 serving foods” (fruits and vegetables).

One of the most powerful interventions for eating disorders is a confident self-image. Ask your child, “What do your friends like about you?”. If you hear, for example, “I’m a good drawer, good friend, fun to be with, fair, a fast runner”, things that are intrinsic or inside a person, you have a child with budding self-confidence.

If on the other hand, you hear, “I don’t know” or “they like my clothes, my video games/toys, that I’m pretty”, things that are extrinsic or on the outside, start working on building up the inside.

Real beauty is more than skin deep. Pass it on.


Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.

Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Dr.Bev@sbcglobal.net

Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!

What do you want to believe about Santa?

Christmas season has begun! Christmas Spirit … Decorations … Commercialism… and… Santa questions. I was waiting for the day when my daughter, who is now 8, would ask if “Santa is real?” One of her best friends informed my daughter it’s the parents, not Santa, who brings the presents for Christmas.

So, my daughter, with her searching brown eyes, asked me straight on, “Mom, is Santa real?”

I responded, after taking a deep, searching breath…”What do you want to believe?”

That’s all that she needed to hear. She needed to hear that I was giving her permission to develop her beliefs and let them evolve.

With a smile on her face, she described that Santa is real because Saint Nicholas is real. “He must work with the parents to bring the presents,” she explained. Santa, in the spirit of Christmas and Jesus, helps children feel loved and special. She still hasn’t quite figured out the logistics about the chimney yet, especially since ours in under construction. That will be for another year :-)

What do you want to believe?

Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.

P.S. One of my favorite Christmas movies is “Elf”

Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D.
Psychologist, Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
dr.bev@sbcglobal.net