Teaching Children to Share
Have you ever noticed the look on the face of a 3 year old when told to "share a toy" or "give Jimmy a turn"? I don't think a look of gratitude or understanding is what comes to mind. I think most young children equate sharing with "me having nothing" and the other child having "everything".
I noticed that if I requested that my kids "traded" toys, instead of "sharing" a toy, I got much better cooperation. This way, both kids had something.
My question to my childen as they are gearing up to grab that coveted car or toy is, "What's your trade?". At times, I may have had to referee, "find a better trade", as my older child was trying to sneak in a "loser" trade. For the most part, however, the idea makes sense to children and is received easily.
Another tip is to offer "taking turns" and then set a timer or number of tries as the trade off point. Remember that 10 minutes or 10 tries is an ETERNITY to a 3 year old. Keep the time and turns within a limit that would make sense for a young child - 5 minutes or 3 turns for example.
Before you know it, you will hear your children becoming master negotiators and sharers of all things.
Anyone else have any tips or thoughts on sharing?
Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D.
Life and Family Coach
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