This is the fourth of seven instruction blunders to avoid.
Repeated Instructions: stating the instruction over and over again. Children learn over time that a parent will repeat a command over and over before they actually have to comply. They learn to tune the parent out until the parent is “serious”.
For example:
"Do your homework. I said, Do your homework. Didn’t you hear me? Do your homework.”
“Time for a bath. I said, Get in the bath. For the last time, take a bath!”
*********************************************************************
Instructions should be clear, succinct, one at a time (2 max), and with enough time for a person to follow up. Be sure that you have your child’s attention – turn off the TV/video game, make eye contact, wait for an acknowledgement.
Better:
(Looking at the child) "It's 4:30. Time for homework." (Wait to hear "OK" and see them start)
(Looking at the child) "Time to clean up. Get in the bath." (Wait to hear "OK" and see them start)
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Ineffective Instructions 3 - Question Instructions
This is the third of seven instruction blunders to avoid.
Question Instructions: stating the instruction as a question. Technically, the child has the right to say “No” since you are asking a question. The parent is disempowered.
For example:
"Shouldn’t you be doing your homework now?”
“Isn’t it time to clean your room?”
Just imagine your clever child’s response ;-)
Instructions should be clear, succinct, one at a time (2 max), and with enough time for a person to follow up. If you are to use a question, give a choice that you can live with (this can help minimize power struggles).
Better:
It’s 4:30. Time for homework.
It’s Saturday. Rooms will be clean before you can go outside and play.
Clean up time. Do you want to take a bath or shower?
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Question Instructions: stating the instruction as a question. Technically, the child has the right to say “No” since you are asking a question. The parent is disempowered.
For example:
"Shouldn’t you be doing your homework now?”
“Isn’t it time to clean your room?”
Just imagine your clever child’s response ;-)
*********************************************************************
Instructions should be clear, succinct, one at a time (2 max), and with enough time for a person to follow up. If you are to use a question, give a choice that you can live with (this can help minimize power struggles).
Better:
It’s 4:30. Time for homework.
It’s Saturday. Rooms will be clean before you can go outside and play.
Clean up time. Do you want to take a bath or shower?
Post a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Beverly Dolenz Walsh
Life and Family Coach
Imagine Your Life...Then Live It!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
